I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
