She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
