fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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