there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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