Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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