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I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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