these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
