don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
