I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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