In the future we'll all be gay
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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