Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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  (248): Well apparently he's into motor boating. http://tfl.nu/kjue
  Replies (3) Good night (1391) Bad night (635)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.

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  (732): I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes. http://tfl.nu/xdyw
  Replies (12) Good night (833) Bad night (3876)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.

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  (814): Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today. http://tfl.nu/lhgy
  Replies (8) Good night (4608) Bad night (911)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1334) Bad night (3672)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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  (480): He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again http://tfl.nu/s0mc
  Replies (9) Good night (3971) Bad night (925)
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  (714): View more from California

  I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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  (714): I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born http://tfl.nu/tmja
  Replies (13) Good night (3079) Bad night (1097)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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  (503): Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge. http://tfl.nu/ays0
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (2071)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Now have a vodka water and get your shit together

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  (612): Now have a vodka water and get your shit together http://tfl.nu/ex6u
  Replies (6) Good night (2507) Bad night (994)
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  (951): View more from California

  I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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  (951): I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's. http://tfl.nu/x6q1
  Replies (18) Good night (3233) Bad night (1122)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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  (501): And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409 http://tfl.nu/uewi
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (1250)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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  (443): No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man.. http://tfl.nu/sort
  Replies (7) Good night (741) Bad night (1553)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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  (540): I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff... http://tfl.nu/wq37
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You went home with a man in a loincloth

  (914): View more from New York

  I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

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  (952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (415)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)

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  (289): For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013) http://tfl.nu/5uly
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (583)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.

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  (978): Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/o96k
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (352)

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