Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...