Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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(917): So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions. http://tfl.nu/wfn7

Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (454)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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(908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc

Replies (19) Good night (1100) Bad night (2271)
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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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(253): I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan. http://tfl.nu/4ryj

Replies (14) Good night (794) Bad night (2770)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.

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(765): Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick. http://tfl.nu/t3m9

Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (831)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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(256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z

Replies (12) Good night (3438) Bad night (954)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit

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(978): dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit http://tfl.nu/yivm

Replies (14) Good night (1198) Bad night (3684)
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(708): View more from Illinois

we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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(708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z

Replies (4) Good night (2572) Bad night (602)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later

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(970): We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later http://tfl.nu/sax8

Replies (4) Good night (2095) Bad night (813)
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(903): View more from Texas

Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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(903): Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat http://tfl.nu/dy7q

Replies (3) Good night (1836) Bad night (558)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.

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(775): Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected. http://tfl.nu/2ksx

Replies (6) Good night (400) Bad night (2139)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook

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(303): Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook http://tfl.nu/i5be

Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (1510)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.

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(989): I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/vqh6

Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (342)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool

(1-303): View more from Colorado

We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern

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(303): We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool (1-303): We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern http://tfl.nu/3irm

Replies (8) Good night (754) Bad night (299)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.

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(215): There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/7teg

Replies (8) Good night (407) Bad night (605)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.

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(901): So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/0b51

Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (171)

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