Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach