I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING