Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.

(1-817): View more from Texas

OMG. What did u say?

(817): View more from Texas

I told her I did too.

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(817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too. http://tfl.nu/dz5w

Replies (11) Good night (1188) Bad night (550)
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(727): View more from Florida

but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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(727): but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something http://tfl.nu/beva

Replies (14) Good night (789) Bad night (2337)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

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(313): Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch. http://tfl.nu/eota

Replies (14) Good night (755) Bad night (3188)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.

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(717): I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked. http://tfl.nu/cil2

Replies (55) Good night (625) Bad night (5339)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

(704): View more from North Carolina

oh, you finally did the dishes then?

(980): View more from North Carolina

No, bought new ones.

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(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

Replies (48) Good night (7593) Bad night (1241)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

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(704): the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond. http://tfl.nu/ueo3

Replies (7) Good night (2170) Bad night (918)
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(212): View more from New York

He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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(212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39

Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (2043)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'

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(703): Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention' http://tfl.nu/1dne

Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (579)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo

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(978): He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo http://tfl.nu/892m

Replies (17) Good night (2630) Bad night (4122)
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(714): View more from California

the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

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(714): the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that? http://tfl.nu/e4u9

Replies (19) Good night (2663) Bad night (645)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese

(312): View more from Illinois

Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?

(630): View more from Illinois

I love you bro

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(630): Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese (312): Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard? (630): I love you bro http://tfl.nu/jz3g

Replies (10) Good night (3362) Bad night (642)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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(719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20

Replies (4) Good night (1291) Bad night (489)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?

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(610): I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason? http://tfl.nu/yqy8

Replies (7) Good night (696) Bad night (926)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.

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(859): You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep. http://tfl.nu/roy1

Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (358)
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(443): View more from Maryland

THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

(1-443): View more from Maryland

excuse me?

(443): View more from Maryland

I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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(443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356

Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (307)

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