Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator

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  (586): But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn? (586): Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator http://tfl.nu/x5ch
  Replies (2) Good night (1359) Bad night (663)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  aren't you going with children?

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  (414): can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long (1-414): aren't you going with children? http://tfl.nu/9f28
  Replies (34) Good night (4480) Bad night (1637)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5996) Bad night (1101)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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  (315): You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter. http://tfl.nu/a7op
  Replies (26) Good night (4467) Bad night (980)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.

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  (980): so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room. http://tfl.nu/bjdl
  Replies (5) Good night (3063) Bad night (1442)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.

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  (647): look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me. http://tfl.nu/z593
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (3255)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.

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  (609): i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/thtn
  Replies (30) Good night (8224) Bad night (1388)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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  (410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo
  Replies (27) Good night (872) Bad night (4919)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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  (970): Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced. http://tfl.nu/7rns
  Replies (14) Good night (2293) Bad night (573)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (499)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it

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  (480): You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it http://tfl.nu/17sa
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (420)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on

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  (609): Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on http://tfl.nu/f543
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (569)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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  (306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away

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  (585): I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away http://tfl.nu/yv3a
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS

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  (406): He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS http://tfl.nu/5da3
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (187)

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