there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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