at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
