i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
