some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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