Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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