Nicole vs. Life
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
