omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
