My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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