Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
