There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it