So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.