Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize