White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?