I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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