I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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