so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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