You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
