I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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