lets start a swedish sibling band together
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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