Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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