Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
