Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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