I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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