You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I stole a fireplace last night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
