then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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