He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
