I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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