its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
