Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
