Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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