I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
