Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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