And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
