Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
