Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
vagina is talking i cant
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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