I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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