apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
