I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm getting married
To pizza
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
