he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
