You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
