I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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