Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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