Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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