DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
