I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
