i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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