dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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