Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
