ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
