I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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