Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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