I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
