yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize