I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
