Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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