Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
