the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
