oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
