And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
