why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
